I briefly debated starting this blog with the same bad opening that I’ve heard countless times in wedding speeches.
“Webster Dictionary defines love as…”
Then I decided it would be a bit too ironic to start a discussion about modernizing weddings with a cliche. Because micro-weddings are rising in popularity, we’re redefining the term “elopement”.
Eloping used to mean running away in secret, with just you two and a witness to get married at a courthouse or Vegas. These days, eloping has been used to describe anything other than the traditional big-crowd wedding. It’s the idea of creating your perfect day on your own terms instead of what’s expected of you.
It’s easy to fall back on the traditions and expectations of friends and family when getting married, especially when there are so many decisions to make. Here are five sure-fire ways to make sure your wedding day is unique to you.
1. Location
A church or barn or field is totally fine, but a lot of couples find that it’s not the most personal venue to them. This is a huge step in your relationship – how would it feel to take that step somewhere that’s more meaningful to you?
Is there somewhere that’s significant to your relationship? Maybe it’s somewhere you have spent a lot of time together, or somewhere you’ve never been but always wanted to go. Maybe it’s where you met, or where you had another significant moment. It could be a beach where you’ve frequented, an island you vacationed once, maybe even another country that you’ve always wanted to see. The options are quite literally endless.
2. Food
If your day happens to have less people involved than a traditional wedding, you have so many more options than standard wedding catering companies. Even if you have a big crowd, there are ways to customize your meal to make it feel more like you.
Do y’all have a favorite meal, cooked or out? Are you big fans of McDonalds or TacoTime? Is there a cultural meal that would mean a lot for y’all to share together? Maybe you recreate what you had on your first date, or ask guests to bring their favorite dish to share. Or maybe you’re out in the woods and all you really want is instant noodles and s’mores. How you present it is up to you too!
3. Attire
This may come as a shock, but a white dress is optional! Again, it’s your day, so wear what would make you feel your best. Maybe that is a big white ball gown, or maybe it’s jeans and a t-shirt. Maybe it’s a nice black suit, or maybe it’s a leather jacket. Maybe it’s high heels, or maybe it’s a pair of hiking boots or Converse. Decide how you want to feel on your day, and choose the attire that will help boost that feeling.
4. Activities
One of the biggest advantages of eloping (the biggest, in my opinion) is that you have more time for activities. When you strip all of the traditional obligations from your timeline, you’ll find that you have much more time to spend with your partner doing whatever it is you want to do. Is there something that y’all both enjoy doing like hiking, whale watching, painting, cooking? Or something that you’ve always wanted to do like a hot air balloon ride or getting a tattoo? You can decide how you want to spend your time together on that special day.
5. Photos
There are only a few elements from your wedding day that last forever, and photos are one. So bring your energy, whatever that means for you. Are y’all goofy af? Then you’ll be playing tag and splashing around in a lake while I snap photos of the shenanigans. Are you more reserved but very sincere and sentimental? Then I can capture your quiet, private moments like I’m a fly on the wall. The important piece is to make sure you have the memories that feel the most authentic to you, your day, and your relationship.
This is your day. Your day to spend however you want. So screw the traditions, the bouquet toss, the “we totally know how to dance” first dance, the rehearsed first kiss. If it feels forced, if the thought of it makes you cringe, if you aren’t saying “FUCK YES”, then it should be a HELL NO.
So let’s promise not to stick to the status quo. Let’s promise to create a day with only you and your love in mind. Let’s promise to start your marriage in the most authentic way possible. Because life is just too short to waste any time trying to please others.
